junio: Ms. Potato Head

This may not be true for the whole country, but the Mexico I know is full of natural medicines and remedies for just about any problem one can think of. Some remedies are things of absolute genius and perfection, taking advantage of the resources already available, healing our bodies completely, and make we wonder why we shove so many pills down our throats in the U.S. Then again, other Mexican remedies make me long for the ease of a gel-capped cure. Let me share some favorite natural remedy failures:

Diarrhea: Welcome to Mexico. Any foreigner coming here will undoubtedly have a bout with diarrhea at least once. Their remedy is as commonly known as our chicken soup to cure (or comfort) a cold. To cure diarrhea in Mexico, squeeze 4 limes into a small glass, put in one tablespoon of corn starch (optional when unavailable, but strongly recommended), and top it off with a little bit of Coke. Bottoms up. Fortunately, Marce has never made this remedy for me. *whew* I hear it is as disgusting as it sounds. Give me Pepto, please.
One time I was staying at a hotel and wanted some limes for some beer we snuck inside. Well, that was easy to solve - I just went down to the bartender and quietly and discreetly informed him that one of my travel companions was suffering from the runs. Before I could finish asking if I could have some limes, the bartender was already fetching and cutting at least four or five and asking me if I wanted any more and if I needed some Coke with that. Worked like a charm.

Bad Circulation: Drink muincle, a plant leaf that can be used to make tea. The tea comes out a deep purple and almost opaque. The taste is mild, herby, earthy flavor - what one would expect for freshly-picked leaf tea.
I once told Marce that I have bad circulation, it runs in my family. She immediately prescribed muincle and coincidentally had some on hand. She pulled some leaves out of a bag in the fridge and threw them into some water to boil on the stove. If you've had the lovely chance of meeting Marce, it won't surprise you that she made enough tea to fill the mugs of the whole neighborhood. Marce started telling me about all the wonderful things about muincle - it purifies the blood, increases circulation, and helps with the kidneys. Sounds good and since she made so much, I figured, "Well, I guess I have to drink it almost all day and it might help." So, the next morning I filled my half-Nalgene with muincle and hit the road for work. I drank it all morning and almost finished my Nalgene before lunch. During lunch, I started to feel downright exhausted. Marce looked at my wilting eyes and asked me how much I drank... I showed her my near empty water bottle and she burst out laughing. Turns out she forgot to tell me that muincle has some lovely side effects like causing severe drowsiness. Upon Marce's insistence, I called in sick to work and instead slept for 2 and a half hours that afternoon. I now drink muincle with caution.

Thin Hair: Potatoes, potato water, or rice water (the water used for boiling potatoes or rice, respectively). I have thin hair, incredibly thin hair. In Mexico, no one has thin hair so I just seem like a balding weirdo to most people. I mentioned to Marce one time wanting some remedy for thin hair and having heard something about potato water. Oh no no no. Why waste time with potato water when you can go to the source? She recommended mashing up uncooked potatoes and slathering the goop on my head, leaving it there for at least an hour and then washing it out. To really hook me on the idea, she told me that her mom did this to her when she was a kid and her hair ended up so thick that they couldn't braid it all together, but had to do two gigantic pigtails. Sold. So, I tried it and Sarah took photos. It was disgusting and looked a bit like smearing vomit into my hair, but I kept at it determined to give it a try and not quit halfway to always be left wondering "what if I finished rubbing potato on my head?"
You'd think I would have learned by now. This remedy didn't work either. I just had sticky, smelly, clumps of potato thoroughly worked into my hair. It took a lot of time, water and shampoo to wash out and I lost a good amount of hair in the process being pulled out with the chunks of the potato. My hair smelled like fresh lefse for the next day too. Note to others: not worth trying.





Without wanting to end on such a sour note I do want to say that not all natural remedies are failures. It's just that the failures make for more interesting blog entries.